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You are here: Home / Fun Stuff / Is It Okay to Change Your Goals?

Is It Okay to Change Your Goals?

March 5, 2020 By Kerry 1 Comment

Life is full of change, so why shouldn’t our goals be flexible too? Sometimes we think a goal has to planned and set, no changing. But that doesn’t make sense or work very well for people. Let’s think about when it’s okay to modify or change a goal.

I’d like to begin with a family experience. Both of my sons wanted to try ice skating a few years ago. So I signed them up for beginner lessons. How did it go? From the beginning it was a bust.

Both boys were signed up for two different classes. One was a beginning class for any age; the other was a “Snowplow Sam” class for the little wanna-be skaters. So I signed my teen up for the first class and my preschooler for the second one. The night of the first lesson, we arrived early to get skates on and be ready to meet instructors. My boys had never even tried on ice skates before, stood on them, or attempted to skate two millimeters on ice. So this was a brand new experience for them, and it’s been almost 20 years since I’ve skated. On top of inexperience, the atmosphere at the indoor rink was chaotic, with probably 100 newbies to somewhat advanced skaters waiting to meet a limited number of new instructors.

Once teachers met students and took roll, everyone seemed to enter the rink at once, with the newbies struggling at the entrance. I had quickly warned my oldest son’s teacher to please guide him onto the ice. I didn’t explain that he has high-functioning autism; I just said he has some gross-motor delays. He made it maybe two inches onto the ice and clung to her like a cat afraid of touching water. She was sympathetic for about two seconds, then guided him to the rail, and left him there while she caught up with her other students. I think there were six or seven. Then she came back, attempted some one-on-one instruction, then quickly passed him off to the same teacher my preschooler had. So my teenager became the fifth student of his little brother’s class. I knew we were doomed.

Little Bro floundered much like his older brother on the ice, though Big Bro had been given an upturned bucket at this point to hold onto while he pushed/slid it inch by inch. The teacher of this class tried to help everyone, but none of the littles (five with Big Bro) could stay upright for more than 10 seconds.

I was proud of Big Bro for making the most of his 30-minute (almost an eternity) class, though he fell hard several times and injured his wrist in doing so. I had attempted to rescue him and his ego, but teachers wouldn’t let me enter the rink due to liability reasons. Little Bro didn’t seem to mind being on his pull-up-padded behind as much. So “in the end” (you decide if pun is intended), he decided to stick with the twice-weekly skating lessons.

Life changes, and so sometimes your goals need to change. Here's help to decide when it's okay--and sometimes the best solution.

A Change in Goals Can Be the Right Thing

For Big Bro, we had a good talk about what decisions he might make of the experience. He definitely wanted out. I told him that was fine, but we needed to talk about why that decision was ok in this instance. Here’s a short list of some questions we talked about:

  • Is this goal essential?
  • Is this goal just for fun?
  • Could I modify this goal and still be successful?
  • How long do we try a new goal that turns out to be hard?
  • Is it worth the effort?
  • In a few years will I regret not completing this goal?

It turned out to be a really good discussion. Together, we decided it’s okay if he doesn’t want to skate. It’s not a vital, important skill. Then he decided he does want to try again, just not in a skating class. So Mom and Dad will take the family during public skate time and rent walkers. He loved this idea, to try skating at his own speed, with adaptive equipment and us alongside. (Actually, I may have to lean on the walker as much as he does, but at least it will look like I’m just helping my kid, right?) We also talked about why some goals are ok to quit or modify. Many things are hard for Big Bro to do, and there are a lot of things he can’t quit. He has to keep trying to be a good student and to learn much-needed life skills. But quitting skating lessons and modifying his goal to a few fun outings with the aid of a walker is just fine. And if he tries the walker and still hates skating, then at least he tried and can cross the activity entirely off his list of things that might be fun.

 

Parents, would you have handled this situation differently? Have you experienced something similar?

 

Filed Under: Fun Stuff Tagged With: goals

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Comments

  1. Reeni says

    January 14, 2017 at 6:12 am

    Great information on adjusting and adapting for any experience! Thanks for sharing these much needed words 🙂

    Reply

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It’s a cold winter day outside, and these are my It’s a cold winter day outside, and these are my treats. Yum! Homemade, warm banana bread AND a super interesting book. 

The Indigo Girl, by Natasha Boyd, is a fabulous read for February’s Black History Month. Historical fiction. Young Eliza Lucas (1722-1793) is just a teen when her father puts her in charge of the family’s South Carolina plantations as he returns to England in pursuit of a military career. 

Learning how much the French pay for indigo dye, she resolves to grow it on their acreage and pay for all their debts, which the father has amassed in his military endeavors. 

Eliza has the plan but doesn’t know the complex process for making the dye. But some of the slaves on their plantation do. 

Read on as the book explores kindness, cruelty, and all the wrongs of slavery. 
@authornatashaboyd 

What’s your favorite treat to enjoy while reading a good book?

#blackhistory #blackhistorymonth #bookstoreadinfebruary #booksworthreading #historicalfiction #historicalfictionbooks #theindigogirl #cleanreads #cleanbookstoread #mrsladywordsmith #bookclub #bookclubs
Interactive is the way to go when you're helping y Interactive is the way to go when you're helping your child learn new spelling words. I've used this simple fly swatter game for years as I tutor kids. I've made it easy for you to instantly download these cute bug cards. Just print, laminate, and use a dry-erase marker to personalize with your child's spelling list. Then let them swat away as they practice their buggy words. :) I offer several ideas to use these cards, making it a fun game every time. LINK IN BIO.⠀
⠀
#spelling #spellingwords #spellinghelp #readingwithkids #mrsladywordsmith #spellinggame #spellinggames
FREE! We're excited to finally attend RootsTech th FREE! We're excited to finally attend RootsTech this year--and it's absolutely free. We've always had schedule conflicts and have balked at the price. But now, there are no excuses. We just signed up. It took about 2 minutes. ⠀
⠀
If you're not familiar with RootsTech, it's a fabulous opportunity to learn about family history and genealogy, specifically how YOU can discover your family's roots.⠀
⠀
When is it? February 25-27. Where? Online⠀
⠀
Keynote speakers are:⠀
Lorena Ochoa: She is an athlete, mother, entrepreneur, and unbreakable promoter of golf in Mexico. She was the best player in the world for 157 consecutive weeks (April 2007–April 2010).⠀
⠀
Born in 1964 in Barletta, Italy, Francesco Lotoro is a pianist, composer, and conductor in addition to being a piano professor at the “U. Giordano” Music Conservatory, in Foggia.For the past 30 years, he has tirelessly been involved in recovering, studying, revising, archiving, executing, recording, and promoting thousands of works of concentrationary music. ⠀
⠀
Sharon Leslie Morgan is a writer and genealogist. She is the founder of Our Black Ancestry (OBA), an online community dedicated to providing resources for African American genealogical research, preserving historical materials and properties, and promoting healing of wounds that are the legacy of slavery.⠀
⠀
International motivational speaker and New York Times best-selling author Nick Vujicic was born in 1982 in Melbourne, Australia. Without any medical explanation or warning, Nick came into the world with neither arms nor legs. Nick is now a highly sought-after motivational speaker traveling the world, speaking and coaching others to overcome their obstacles.⠀
⠀
And more . . . Visit rootstechdotorg to see the full roster. ⠀
⠀
#familyhistory #genealogy #rootstech #mrsladywordsmith #utahfamilyfunstuff
Have you visited my website too? I’m just downlo Have you visited my website too? I’m just downloading a bunch of printable games to help make spelling practice fun for your kids. Stay tuned, and I’ll share glimpses of them here in my next posts. Website link in bio. 📖

#mrsladywordsmith #websiteinbio #spellinghelp #readinghelp #readinghelps #spellinggames
I buy these 🌷 tulips in a vase every year. They I buy these 🌷 tulips in a vase every year. They absolutely make me happy every time I look at them. I love watching them grow from the bulb until they produce beautiful blooms. To me, it’s always a personal message that life goes on, that hard times pass, and that there’s something beautiful around every corner. 

I’m not just being a Pollyanna when I say these things. I’ve had my share of licks and challenges. Some of them have been frankly awful and seemingly insurmountable at the time. 

But over the years, I’ve survived them. And I’ve come through the wear and tear a bit stronger, a bit wiser. 

For now, I’m enjoying the sunshine in my life. ☀️ Today I enjoy these 💐 flowers. Today is good. 

What helps you to feel happy or content? It’s a little different for each of us. 

#todayisgood #tulipsofinstagram #tulipsmakemehappy #flowersmakemehappy #mrsladywordsmith #todaythesunshines #ithinkillreadabook
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Anyone here remember typing on a manual typewriter? Maybe not an antique but now extinct, nonetheless. 😊

#typewriter #typewritersofinstagram #typewriters #antiquetypewriter #wordlover #wordlovers #wordloversunite #mrsladywordsmith
I saw this mural and just had to have this pic. I’m going to print it and frame it to remind me there is always hope. 

We’ve had a series of family health crises this week. A niece with a concussion, another niece with a broken elbow that’s going to require surgery ... And my father-in-law fell last Friday. We took him to the ER. They released him after doing a few tests and said to watch him. We’ve been stopping in every day. His speech kept getting more slurred, and finally, last night, his walking became severely impaired. A CT scan shows brain bleeding—a significant amount. 

Because of covid, ICU beds at our hospitals here are full. So there’s no bed for him there yet. And he’ll need surgery soon. 

Maybe keep us in your thoughts and prayers. 

I have hope still—not that things will turn out perfectly fine. My nieces will be ok, but my FIL is 88. We may not get the same guy back post-op. But I have hope that we’ll know how to make the best decisions we can at this time and that we will be strong as a family. 

I also hold tremendous hope for life after this earth life. We lost my mother-in-law right before Thanksgiving. 

I know she is watching over us and her beloved husband right now. 

And no matter what, things will be ok. That’s hope. 

#hope #hopeful #wordsofcomfort #wordsofcomfortandhope #mrsladywordsmith #comfort
Introducing my 12 books to read in 2021 ... Books Introducing my 12 books to read in 2021 ... Books are my favorite escape, but they have to be really, really good or I don’t bother to finish them. Over the years, I’ve read many books and participated in several book clubs. Most of the books aren’t memorable, but some of them are absolute standouts in that they teach something valuable, provide a needed laugh, or are just written so well I couldn’t put them down. These 12 books are fabulous reads, with mostly clean language and content that won’t put junk in your mind. LINK IN BIO.

#cleanreads #cleanread #cleanbooks #bookclub #bookclubbooks #booksworthreading #books2021 #mrsladywordsmith #cleanbook #noswearing #noexplicitcontent #educated #tarawestover #tarawestovereducated #atreegrowsinbrooklyn #thegiverofstars #flightofthesparrow #the13thgift #beforewewereyours #thefountainsofsilence #thebeantowngirls #thebookwomanoftroublesomecreek #thelittleshopoffoundthings #thecountofmontecristo #alexandredumas
This little gem was a keeper for our book club. It This little gem was a keeper for our book club. It's the first of four in a delightful series about an antique shop, a mother and daughter, and travel back in time. It reminded me a tiny bit of the 1980 movie Somewhere in Time, which I adored. Daughter Xanthe and mom Flora leave London for a fresh start in the historic town of Marlborough. They breathe new life into an antique shop through hard work and lots of talent. But the real story lies with an antique find--a silver chatelaine that transports her back to the 17th Century--and a resident ghost who insists she go back to save her daughter. There's also a romance with Xanthe and architect Samuel Appleby, who resides in the past. You won't be able to put this one down! It's an excellent gift too.⠀
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The Little Shop of Found Things, by Paula Braxton.⠀
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#thelittleshopoffoundthings #paulabraxton #mrsladywordsmith #booksworthreading #fiction #fictionbooks #booksyoushouldread #cleanreads #cleanreadsbooks
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