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You are here: Home / Fun Stuff / 8 Tips to Relieve Back-to-School Anxiety for Kids with Autism

8 Tips to Relieve Back-to-School Anxiety for Kids with Autism

August 26, 2016 By Kerry Leave a Comment

It’s the beginning of the school year, and likely you and your child have survived the first week. For many kids with autism, the first few days are overwhelming and full of fear, meltdowns, and a variety of other behaviors. With my son, who’s now in eigth grade, the transition was better this year, even though he’s attending yet another new school. But his first day was still full of anxiety, and he struggled with nausea and an upset stomach. Last year, those symptoms lasted most of the first week. It’s tough on the kid and on the parent.

This year, my son is enrolled in a charter school. It has smaller class sizes, and there are only about 50 kids in his entire grade. The staff is super friendly and involved, personalizing the education for each child there. My husband, son, and I are already super impressed and feel very blessed to be enrolled there.

But what if your school situation isn’t optimal? For the past two years, ours wasn’t optimal either. Much of our concerns were simply beyond our control: teachers who wouldn’t comply with IEP requirements, overcrowded school rooms, chaotic environments, and so on.

I still believe in the value of public education and want my son to participate. He does too. Because he is high functioning, we’ve always mainstreamed him. That is what’s worked for us, but every child’s situation is different. If you feel that your kid with autism would benefit from a public education but suffers from anxiety, you might try a few things that have worked for us.

Tips to Reduce Anxiety

  1. Before school starts, visit. If it’s a new school, ask for a tour when the halls aren’t busy and your child won’t be subjected to chaos. Otherwise, his first impression will be overwhelming and negative. Also, be sure to attend Back-to-School Nights and registration days. Do what you can to let your child “practice” their new school routine. Be sure to meet the principal, special-ed teachers, school psychologist, and your child’s advisor. Meet them in person before school if you can but especially when school starts. I once had a school secretary tell me the principal was too busy to meet with me. No matter what, don’t let anyone dissuade you from meeting your children’s school leaders in person.
  2. Ask the school for help. Before the first day of school, I tell teachers and office staff about our situation and arrange for us to arrive when we can. You see, the first morning back to school, my son is usually camped out in the bathroom with anxiety-induced problems. So he needs to take his time. By talking with the school staff ahead of time, I can arrange for my son to be excused from all tardies until he can adjust to the new school routine. I also make prior arrangements so he can leave any classroom–without asking–if he needs to dart into a bathroom. Not one teacher has ever refused this request. Just knowing that he doesn’t have to worry about being on time to classes for the first few days and can visit the bathroom whenever needed is a huge relief to my son. I know of some parents who arrange for their child to start attending the second week of school to avoid the chaos the first week can bring.
  3. Take the day off work or arrange to go in late. If you’re a working parent and can take the first day of school off or arrive late, please do so. Your child needs you. They need someone to talk to and help them work through things–no matter how old they are.
  4. Be organized. Lay out clothes the night before. Have the backpack and planner ready. Get up a little early to allow for more bathroom time. Try to make the morning routine structured.
  5. Take your time. Talk with your child about their reservations. See if they have specific concerns you can address. Validate their feelings. They are feeling scared, and those feelings are real. Don’t insist that they “suck it up,” hurry, or ignore what they’re feeling. Chances are, they can’t.
  6. Skip breakfast if needed. When my son is really nervous, he can’t eat a thing. I used to be that way too, so I understand that and don’t push him to have breakfast. If he can, he’ll sip on some water. Usually, by lunch time his nerves have calmed down enough to eat or drink something.
  7. Pack a favorite lunch. Few things are more wonderful than comfort food. I let my son pick out his favorite foods for the first day–nothing is off limits. If he wants junk food, I go with it. I can follow up with a healthy snack after school and insist on carrot sticks and healthy foods for future lunches. Be sure to include a loving, handwritten note for your child to enjoy. Nothing beats a little love from home when you’re feeling nervous.
  8. Seek professional counseling. My son and I have benefited from seeing a counselor who showed us several coping skills. Cognitive therapy, in my opinion, is best done when your child’s mind is calm and receptive. Arrange for counseling at school or in the community as needed. There are also several anxiety workbooks for children and adolescents that are available online. Medication may also be necessary. Because my son’s anxiety goes away after a day or two, we haven’t done medication yet. But I wouldn’t hesitate to get some for him if he ever needs it. I just know personally of the side effects that can arise and want to help him control his anxiety with coping skills for as long as we can.

8 tips

Our Back-to-School Scenario Last Year

Last year, my son desperately needed me for the first several days of school. I had to go in two or three times a day to meet him in the school’s counseling center so he could breathe easier, sip on a protein drink, and have me help him “break down” what he needed to do next. At his request, I went in after first hour so we could see how his stomach was doing. Often, he was ready for a protein drink. Then I’d return for lunch together, which we enjoyed by playing games and visiting. I’d also visit in between classes if he texted me and needed the reassurance in person.

Each time, we met in the counseling center so his peers wouldn’t know that he was seeing his mom. With it being the first year of junior high, he was very sensitive to that. His school counselor was very good to let us use an available room for our visits, and a few times he helped my son find solutions instead of calling me to come in. I’m very grateful for his help, and I’m so glad I could be there for my son when he needed me. By the end of the first week, the anxiety had subsided and he was ready to attend on his own. But I didn’t rush him. When he felt desperate, I reassured him that I would come as long as he needed me.

I realize that I’m blessed to be a homemaker. Not every mom can stay at home. But I would hope an employer would understand if you need to spend some time to help your child. If not, hopefully a grandparent or family friend can step in for you. Your child needs somebody, and they sometimes don’t bond with adults or kids at school–at least not right away.

So Why Don’t I Homeschool?

I recognize that home schooling can be a great option for kids with autism or any kid who struggles with extreme anxiety. In my opinion, mothers who homeschool their kids deserve a special place in heaven for their efforts!:) It takes a very dedicated mom to be a successful homeschooler, and not every mom is up to the task. But homeschooling is the right decision for some families.

If you’re like me and really want to give public or private schools a chance, it’s worth it to help your child through the challenging back-to-school transition time.  It’s so good for most children, in my opinion, to achieve that bit of independence each day as they go out on their own. I’ve found that my child and I learn a lot of good things from his teachers and fellow classmates. He’d learn a lot from me too, if I were to teach him at home. But he would also continue to over-rely on me. He tends to be dependent. I can’t replicate what he learns from making his own decisions and being independent while he’s away from me, and he needs to learn to be his own advocate around others. That’s why I work so hard to keep him mainstreamed.

There are other options too. Public schools often allow “dual enrollment.” You teach your kid part-time at home, and they attend some classes at school. I think that’s what we may do for high school. But we still have a couple of years before we have to make that decision with our son. He constantly amazes us with his newfound abilities, so we’ll see what’s right for us then.

For now, we’re beyond pleased with our son’s experience at our local public charter school. He was super nervous the first day but was ready to go on his own after that. He feels safe, secure, and confident at his new school. We’re excited to see what this school year brings!

How has your child coped with going back to school?

What tips would you share with other parents to help kids with autism reduce their anxiety?

You might also be interested in reading what products and tips helped my son last year as he began middle school. Read more here. 

Filed Under: Fun Stuff Tagged With: autism

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This little gem was a keeper for our book club. It This little gem was a keeper for our book club. It's the first of four in a delightful series about an antique shop, a mother and daughter, and travel back in time. It reminded me a tiny bit of the 1980 movie Somewhere in Time, which I adored. Daughter Xanthe and mom Flora leave London for a fresh start in the historic town of Marlborough. They breathe new life into an antique shop through hard work and lots of talent. But the real story lies with an antique find--a silver chatelaine that transports her back to the 17th Century--and a resident ghost who insists she go back to save her daughter. There's also a romance with Xanthe and architect Samuel Appleby, who resides in the past. You won't be able to put this one down! It's an excellent gift too.⠀
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The magazine is being retired in favor of a more international approach, which I understand and appreciate. 

My time at the Ensign with truly amazing coworkers will always hold a special place in my heart. 

I look forward to the next era of church publications, even though I shed a tear or two as I say goodbye. #ensignmagazine #mrsladywordsmith #churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints
This is an excellent book! Historical fiction is m This is an excellent book! Historical fiction is my favorite genre. This one is about Spain’s Civil War and the 40-year cruel reign of Franco, a ruthless dictator. Well into the late 80s, he ruled with terror. Spaniards lived in fear and could not question how their country was governed. Much like Hitler, Franco determined to cleanse the Spanish people of “Republican blood,” those who had questioned and opposed during the war.  One cruel, common practice was to steal newborns from parents in the hospital, telling them their child had died, while secretly placing the child in an orphanage and charging exorbitant adoption fees to prospective parents, often foreigners who had no idea of Spain’s troubles. It’s estimated that over 300,000 children were stolen and adopted out. 

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This little gem was a keeper for our book club. It This little gem was a keeper for our book club. It's the first of four in a delightful series about an antique shop, a mother and daughter, and travel back in time. It reminded me a tiny bit of the 1980 movie Somewhere in Time, which I adored. Daughter Xanthe and mom Flora leave London for a fresh start in the historic town of Marlborough. They breathe new life into an antique shop through hard work and lots of talent. But the real story lies with an antique find--a silver chatelaine that transports her back to the 17th Century--and a resident ghost who insists she go back to save her daughter. There's also a romance with Xanthe and architect Samuel Appleby, who resides in the past. You won't be able to put this one down! It's an excellent gift too.⠀
⠀
The Little Shop of Found Things, by Paula Braxton.⠀
⠀
#thelittleshopoffoundthings #paulabraxton #mrsladywordsmith #booksworthreading #fiction #fictionbooks #booksyoushouldread #cleanreads #cleanreadsbooks
Help your child learn and develop the valuable ski Help your child learn and develop the valuable skill of setting and achieving goals. This free printable is easy to download and use. Plus it's cute enough to display in a bedroom, on a fridge, or wherever your child will see it as a constant reminder. Link in bio.⠀
#goals #goalsetting #achievinggoals #goalsforkids #churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints #achievingexcellence #childrenandyouth #childrenandyouthprogram
I found this one in a nearby free library. Score! I found this one in a nearby free library. Score! It’s still selling at Costco. 

It’s foremost about thousands of orphans in Canada, illegitimate children who had nowhere else to go. So the Catholic church and government intentionally misdiagnosed them as mentally incompetent and sent them to live in asylums. It was a money maker as the caretakers made a lot of money per child and could treat them horribly without supervision. 

The second part of the story is about separatists wanting to liberate Quebec from the rest of the country. English vs French. Rich vs poor. 

Throughout, there’s a love story that finally makes sense in the end. 

Historical fiction with quite a bit of profanity. Luckily, the previous owner of my book blocked out most of the swear words. 

Not my favorite historical fiction, but I learned a lot about Canada’s past that I did not know. 

#theforgottendaughter #joannagoodman #mrsladywordsmith #booksaboutcanada #historicalfiction #historicalfictionbooks #historicalfictionnovel
This is Oakley. He likes my favorite Christmas chi This is Oakley. He likes my favorite Christmas children’s book too. ❤️

Do you have Christmas Day in the Morning? 

It’s a rustic tale of a young boy who surprises his dad with an unforgettable gift from the heart. It’s a genuine lesson that the best gifts don’t cost money but, instead, come from what we do for others. 

I know it’s a little late in the season to be ordering Christmas books, but if you don’t have this one in your collection, it’s a definite keeper. I have a link for purchasing it in my bio, along with some other great seasonal book recommendations for kids. 

#christmasbooksforkids #childrensliterature #bestchildrensbooks #booksworthreading #mrsladywordsmith
Saying goodbye to my beloved Ensign magazine this Saying goodbye to my beloved Ensign magazine this month. I worked there for seven years, leaving in 2002 when my oldest son was born. Graciously, they let me continue to work from home for many years following. 

The magazine is being retired in favor of a more international approach, which I understand and appreciate. 

My time at the Ensign with truly amazing coworkers will always hold a special place in my heart. 

I look forward to the next era of church publications, even though I shed a tear or two as I say goodbye. #ensignmagazine #mrsladywordsmith #churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints
This is an excellent book! Historical fiction is m This is an excellent book! Historical fiction is my favorite genre. This one is about Spain’s Civil War and the 40-year cruel reign of Franco, a ruthless dictator. Well into the late 80s, he ruled with terror. Spaniards lived in fear and could not question how their country was governed. Much like Hitler, Franco determined to cleanse the Spanish people of “Republican blood,” those who had questioned and opposed during the war.  One cruel, common practice was to steal newborns from parents in the hospital, telling them their child had died, while secretly placing the child in an orphanage and charging exorbitant adoption fees to prospective parents, often foreigners who had no idea of Spain’s troubles. It’s estimated that over 300,000 children were stolen and adopted out. 

The Fountains of Silence, by Ruta Sepetys. I’ll be checking out her other books. Very well written. Clean language. 

#booksworthreading #bookstoread #favoritebooks #rutasepetys #rutasepetysbooks #mrsladywordsmith #bookclubreads #bookclubreading #bookclubladies
What’s in your stash of Christmas books? My favo What’s in your stash of Christmas books? My favorite is Christmas Day in the Morning, by Pearl Buck. 

We read one or two books every night. Together we always read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. What are your Christmas favorites? 

#christmasbooks #christmasbooksforkids #christmasbookshelf #mrsladywordsmith
My dear friend Sue gave me this book ornament. I a My dear friend Sue gave me this book ornament. I absolutely adore it! Do you have similar ornaments or Christmas decor with books? I’d love to see. Please tag me. It would be fun to share with each other. #booksforchristmas #bookishchristmas #christmaswithbooks #booksarethebestgifts #mrsladywordsmith
Will you join me? Post each day what you’re grat Will you join me? Post each day what you’re grateful for. #givethanks #mrsladywordsmith #dailygratitude #countingblessings #thanksgiving
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This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.